9 December
I am terribly awkward socially, and sometimes I feel that I don't even put an effort to change, the least I can do is blend into surroundings, Well guess what if it didn't come naturally than you have to make an effort. Sometimes I feel that I just don't get it; unlike most of us I just get it later; the feeling the thing; this idea of achieving something and going somewhere in life. I find myself at similar cross roads then and again in life, it looks crystal clear for few days and then this medley of social gatherings, huge expectations simply slouches me. I wish I had the strength to stay strong, maybe it's how it's supposed to be. I just don't get it sometimes. The feeling of loneliness in a crowd is strange and sometimes frightens me. Am I like Adnan; that poor chap; he's nice and all but what others say about him... Sometimes I feel exactly the same, Other times it's this idea that this world is wrong for me; I don't belong to somewhere surrounded by a loads of people. Should I seriously consider something else, but is it a strong passion or a mere fancy to escape from uncomfortable situations, I don't know. But what if I don't want to be like them or is it the certainty on my part that I can never be like them.
Well I do need to look for inspirations, more constructive hobbies and my constant struggle for a beautiful life. I want to go to a post graduate college; but why? What I should I do is be strong here, play it their rules, work my way up and defeat them at their own game. And then maybe once you have changed; you can leave it all. At least you'll have the strength to say you did and you couldn't do it any other way for everything in this world.
I am terribly awkward socially, and sometimes I feel that I don't even put an effort to change, the least I can do is blend into surroundings, Well guess what if it didn't come naturally than you have to make an effort. Sometimes I feel that I just don't get it; unlike most of us I just get it later; the feeling the thing; this idea of achieving something and going somewhere in life. I find myself at similar cross roads then and again in life, it looks crystal clear for few days and then this medley of social gatherings, huge expectations simply slouches me. I wish I had the strength to stay strong, maybe it's how it's supposed to be. I just don't get it sometimes. The feeling of loneliness in a crowd is strange and sometimes frightens me. Am I like Adnan; that poor chap; he's nice and all but what others say about him... Sometimes I feel exactly the same, Other times it's this idea that this world is wrong for me; I don't belong to somewhere surrounded by a loads of people. Should I seriously consider something else, but is it a strong passion or a mere fancy to escape from uncomfortable situations, I don't know. But what if I don't want to be like them or is it the certainty on my part that I can never be like them.
Well I do need to look for inspirations, more constructive hobbies and my constant struggle for a beautiful life. I want to go to a post graduate college; but why? What I should I do is be strong here, play it their rules, work my way up and defeat them at their own game. And then maybe once you have changed; you can leave it all. At least you'll have the strength to say you did and you couldn't do it any other way for everything in this world.
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