5 December

Another day wasted or is it a lesson? I have failed a lot, done terrible things and hurt people the closest to me? How do I do it? How do I top myself, Am I the worst person ever to live on this planet.... I don't care simply, Can I be selfless, truly selfless, I wish I can prove it. That I am not shallow, I can care, I can love and help. I don't know where I am going or am I so rigid that I am not going anywhere, I wish I could change, everyone could change.

I fail miserably at my initiatives, is that it, the breaking point that I have never seen, 2 days and that's it.. I wish I had more strength. Tomorrow will be a new morning but the efforts start right now. Is is really this difficult for everyone.

I wish it was easy; there should have been rules atleast, to guide you and tell you this is the way, I make my own rules and break them. I dont care what I will be but I do want to know who I will be, give me a hint, will I get good, will that change take place.... I should stick to this plan, I should forget, I should help, I should work hard, smart, socialise and drink lot of tea.....