1 December

Hum Na Samjhe Theeeye..... Baat itni siii....... Khwaab hain shishe keee.......Duniyaaaa Patthar kiii.....

                                                                                                 A song from movie Gardish

Everyone should have a purpose, I should have a purpose.

It's an exercise I stumbled on youtube

Who are You?
I am Manish

What do you do?
I can teach you kind of each and every subject that I studied till 12th (bar chemistry), I can tell you  a 100 reasons as to why I like J.D. Salinger, I have a reasonably high aptitude,  and liberal understanding of the world around me. I get sad for every second sad thing I see around me. I can give you a good suggestion in case you are looking for just the right movie to watch for whichever mood you are in. I am a borderline bearable writer (Am I?). I work in an Air Conditioning Company, currently employed as a Graduate Trainee, I find my job challenging and want to master it.

Who do you do it for?
I do it for my mom, dad, younger brother, and hopefully an adopted daughter that I so hard need to convince my mom for.

There is more to this exercise that'll follow,

Zindagi Gulzar hai is somehow behind this initiative of journal keeping, Zaroon and Kashaf are a fun pair to watch, I do love the urdu vocab, very rarely you see people as committed as they are to the work they do and the values they carry.
I dropped a message to couple of my friends, I sometimes get this passionate desire to go out for a coffee, sit around with someone, find out what's bothering him/her make a connection of some sort.
But then this is a long term exercise, I'll update about the moment I land a coffee date with someone, Preferably Sarthak, that guy's an inspiration now, I wish if I could share his pain and comfort him, I don't know how it's supposed to make you feel, losing your mother, I wonder what it's like? She is so much around, she's like my quilt in winters, I just fail to realize the warm energy she maintains around me. Right now she's the only one I hold on to, my precious stone,

30th November 2014
Sabse Peeche Hum Khade!

Please don't throw up yet, I suppose you can change URLs as and when you desire!

Don't tell ever anybody anything, if you do, you start missing everybody

                                                                                                                 Old Holden Caulfield
What am I afraid of? A truly beautiful life is what I desire, fear is of the vulgarities of the ideas I behold and the perception that the world I live in will be cold to me as it's (I urgently need to learn the difference) to everyone around me (is it?). I have changed a lot in past few months, A new life has embraced me with open arms, I have started earning, I don't remember the most part of what I had envisioned for myself when I was in college, trying hard to land a job, and then what? A girlfriend? or was it to go for higher studies? Doesn't matter. I don't remember a lot of things about college, but I do get the idea about the friends you make is important.
There should be something in everyone's life that drives him/her, I haven't found mine yet or maybe I am unable to recognize it. I do know the difference between a day perfectly spent and the day wasted,
I believe there is no single answer to my predicament, the doubt that looms over is the uncertainty of the future or more aptly put is the fear of a certain future that I am desperately running from.

This week is important, I need to reboot myself, find in me a new guy, ready to take the world head on and be a cold breeze in scorching summer heat. This is a precious life, it should not be meaningless, it can be chaotic but a pattern should be there, lives should be touched, people should be enjoyed, laughed and worked with.

Daydreaming without plans is not going to help me any longer, mornings should be made better, distractions should be minimized (delayed gratification), politeness costs nothing, new things should be learnt and moss walls should be broken.
What's it that you want to do?
I want to be good.
Why do you want to be good?
I want to be a poetry not bound by anything, no rules but poetic as hell
How would you get that?
I don't know, I do know that I got to look good, that I should be active, that I should make a to do list, I know that I should connect, go out for coffees, there is so much awesomeness around, to grab that, appreciate the love and the care that's around, to take risks, to wander and touch the untouchable.
I need to read more books, write more essays (more really?),  be passionate, love life, see things for they may no longer exist, love them for they may be gone forever and today is that time.
I need to love helplessly, care without expectations.
There are a lot of thoughts and things to be said and done, this will be where inner reflection will take place, mistakes will be cherished, secrets will be revealed, shortcomings will be logged and debugging will be severe.
Bye Bye